Do Titanium Piercings Cause Teenage Depression ?!?

Whilst working undercover on Healey Acute Mental Health Ward Chorley it came to my attention that a large proportion of those under 40 admitted for Depression sported multiple body piercings many of which were Titanium.

My suspicions were reinforced when an old school friend of mine told how despite the fact that he had been a highly qualified engineer at Rolls-Royce he lost the inspectors job he applied for to the totally unqualified ” Sweeper Up “. Needless to say that precipitated his nervous breakdown ( not bad enough to be admitted to hospital ) after which he was pensioned off.

My friend had worked machining titanium for 30 years and no doubt inhaled the dust, and absorbed it through his skin whilst handling the precision components. It may therefore be reasonable to believe that Titanium like Lead is an accumulative poison, and perhaps its effects are more marked in Teenagers still growing.

Expanding the above concept further, I am informed that the mental health crisis phone line has been overloaded over the past few days, no doubt due to a magnetic storm on our Sun which peaked on March 7th. Perhaps body piercings act like an ariel thus increasing the amount of titanium ingested through the skin, thus precipitating more acute depression symptoms ?

No doubt further proper research is needed, but discouraging piercings for teenagers and particularly titanium must be as important as stopping young people starting Smoking. My mum’s generation had ear piercings but only actually wore rings for going out ” dressed up ” then either Silver or Gold !

Totally unrelated Footnote but Big Stink over The Sun’s front page headline today ” Queen For Brexit ” which bring to mind some advice from an old school Solicitor friend of mine who once simply said in defamation cases ” They only Sue if its True ” !

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